Some of you are still searching for Enlightenment, while other could just settle for the truth - whatever it turns out to be. Many people have attended church for the majority of their lives and have never once had a so-called Spiritual Experience. I have been searching for answers and enlightenment for the majority of my life, and despite what I have thus experienced, my search still continues. The most spiritually ,mentally terrifying and trying time of my life was just 7 brief days in September of 1988 in the Washington, D.C. area while working as a Warehouse Stockclerk. For 7 brief days, I was spiritually possessed by a demon or in a sense taken captive by the "DARK SIDE". This was the one time in my life that everything I ever was taught and ever believed in came in question including reality, and I have never before been so terrified. It began one night with a bone-chilling cold in the peak of summer (very strange), like no cold feeling experience I've ever felt before and I had spent time in Iowa and Minnesota just prior to this. This is one signature that I have since used to identify with "PURE EVIL"... Woke up in a cold sweat, shivering and freezing in the summer time and it was about an average comfortable temperature in the room before I fell asleep earlier and the Air Conditioning wasn't running, and I was somewhat aware of a presence in the room with me. It was unlike any feeling I've ever had before. The presence seemed to watched me from a distance before moving closer to almost tower above me. I felt all this but couldn't see anything but the physical stuff in the room. I moved and it followed me. Panic set in as I tried quoting a bible scripture that I taken to memory in my younger days, and the presence began to take the form of a invisible wall of some sort and almost seemed to push against me like an enormous weight and that feeling seemed to linger and till finally I was so exhausted that I just went back to bed and ignored it. Morning brought a feeling of disconnection as if I was there but wasn't really there and I just wasn't myself at all, and I almost had to "THINK" before I did anything as though I had forgotten who I was. I went to work and that was when the experience of "DRAGGING ALONG" began after only working an hour or so. I was totally exhausted and could barely stand on my own 2 feet and found myself constantly leaning on something for support. I made it thru a couple of days like that before confusion, disorientation began to set in, until finally I began hearing voices. Most of the time I was alone and it seemed like a radio station broadcasting in my head. The voices over-road even the TV and radio, and finally all I could pray for was "UTTER" silence, and that never came unless I managed to fall asleep. I found myself walking in circles, and actually paying detailed attention to the voices. I was slowly loosing my grip on reality and there were times when I just couldn't decide what was real and what wasn't. The climax came when the sound of my own voice appeared to me to change to that of a "FEMALE". The location where this happened and how it happened suggests that it was all rigged because of how badly battered i was mentally and physically so i pretty much accepted anything. This happened at the auto parts warehouse where i was working where a black guy there who worked the counter and also supposedly worked elsewhere as a security guard handed me a speaker or blow horn and told me to speak into it - my voice came out as FEMALE there... and regular elsewhere and he steadily tried to convince me that my voice had changed - the speaker was rigged of course and everyone gathered around and had a laugh... the guy was always testing me one way or another and that day he got me... and i guess he was famous because no one would ever figure out his trick and how he rigged the speaker.... (a little birdie told me of course after all these years) That was the "ICING" on the cake so to speak and everything went downhill from then on. (My voice really never changed - it was all psychological since I sounded normal to myself without the speaker - but i was just dreadfully fearful of speaking to anyone at that point and constantly testing my voice from time to time with tape recorders and other people - i saw a psychiatrist for many months later after my breakdown before i could speak to anyone again - i still see a psychiatrist today but only for the "voices" which still haunt me 24/7 as a result - quite a change). i had already grown up with a speech problem prior to this and this did not help matters any. Prior to this or maybe close, i remember the people i worked with trying to get me to talk to a new girl that came to work there and i was supposed to ask her what her phone number was and things like that... We would meet after work sometimes at the warehouse managers place but the party wouldn't start till after i left because they thought i was just a kid or underage. Some of my co-workers would come to me sometimes saying you left early and missed out - yep i got tired of just sitting around.... They would pop out the xxx rated movies after i left..... Anyway, outside a line of people waited for me when it was time to go home as i walked up the side street. i was almost at the corner when a little child met me and looked up almost in amazement and then walked away. i was told (by the same birdie) that the child couldn't describe what he saw and just made up something - he reported it back to the pretty fortune teller woman i had met around that time for my first psychic reading - she got the wrong message of course, whatever it was supposed to be and everything started progressively getting worse for me as time went on.... I felt very self conscious about sounding like someone else and wasn't sure if it was real or whether I was just hallucinating till everything just came to a crashing halt and I couldn't get out of bed one morning, wasn't sure who or what I was, and what I was supposed to be doing. I was rushed to the hospital where I kept running away from for some reason. I did notice during that time that my eyesite greatly improved and I had better than 20/20 vision - another strange thing. I finally had to be restrained and that was when the voices got worse and very terrifying. All I could hear were screams of people being tortured - so I thought, but yet every one around me (Doctors, etc.) seemed to act normal. During all this time there was still the feeling of disconnection, something that never seemed to leave me. Finally, I was rolled out on a stretcher where I was restrained into a waiting ambulance - still terrrified, and arrived sometime later at where I would later know to be a "MENTAL HOSPITAL". After a brief checking where people just seemed to look at me strangely, I was released into a hall into a crowd of other people. Some just looked at me, others paced around in circles, and others just did nothing. All I could do was huddle down on the floor too terrified to speak or move, and so began my 7 days of HELL... I began receiving daily medication, and noticed that the feeling of disconnection would come and go, but the bone-chilling cold returned. The presence returned also but this time it felt like more than one and there was a strange sound which would accompany the visitations. These were what I came to identify as "DEMONS". During this time, I was somehow coming to grips with my situation as well as reality as I knew it since the voices had stopped and I could think and rest. Finally, there was one last visitation and one which forever changed everything I ever believed in. I faced the presence above and acknowledge it as what it was - a demon, "flapping of wings" and refused to let it or them continue to hound me. I imagined white light while simultaneously quoting that only scripture from the Bible that I had taken to memory.....JESUS CHRIST IS MY LORD AND SAVIOR.... All of a sudden there was screaming and screeching that sounded like something that was not of this Earth and it sent chills down my spine just to hear it. I continued quoting, and the presence seem to lift itself and distance itself from me till I could feel it no more. Recovery was quick from that moment on. The feeling of disconnection, bone-chilling cold never returned and the visitations ended. My perception of reality, the world, GOD, the Devil, and whatever else there was was forever changed and challenged, and to this day I never felt the same again. I had experienced the "DARKNESS" and lived to tell about it. I've been on daily medication since my 7 days of HELL, and to this day. I take Prozac in the Morning and Stelazine at night since 1988. For a while the medication seemed to be the one controlling me and some of my actions, till I began my own experimentation with them and as a result some adjusting took place thus putting me on the controlling side of things. Side affects from the medication range from sluggishness, increased sex drive, lack of sex drive, restlessness, inability to sleep, inability to concentrate, lack of appetite, drowsiness, urination discomfort or at times uncontrollable, fatique, loss of memory, etc, etc, etc, etc.... These are some of the affects of the medications that I have to learn to control over time, as well as those that I will probably never be able to control, as the saying goes "Some Control of your life is better than None". Since that time, I have taken up Tai Chi, First and Second Level Reiki, and am now a Reiki Master. The visitations continued a few years later but in a different manner. It comes by night as a stifling weight on my chest with no form, but the presence is very noticeable since it is something that you never forget, and this time in the form of attacks as opposed to possession... ..and it's nothing that terrifies me since I fear it not, but only see it for what it is. The visits are swift but brief, and will probably continue as long as I am with the "LIGHT" since the "Darkness" is attracted to the "Light" or as the saying goes "Opposites attract". There is GOOD and EVIL as there is LIGHT and DARKNESS, but the only way to know the difference is to have experienced one, or the other or both... In this case, there is a difference when it comes to the "Bone-Chilling Cold". With the normal physical cold that everybody feels, you start feeling cold (i.e. freeze) from the outside in.... With this "Bone-Chilling Cold", you freeze from the "Inside Out"....just the reverse. By the time you are totally "Chilled"....you are possessed completely, not to mention the sense of a presence, and a weight pressing against you...whether you are sitting, lying down or standing up...doesn't matter. This all happens regardless of what the temperature is outside or around you. There was lots of humor to try to conceal the learning or the reality of the situation since things didn't quite turn out the way someone or others would have like it to. Of course, no one expected me to tell my story either, thinking that it was my secret. In conclusion finally the definition of"Turned" in my case which everyone is dying to know the definition and what really happended. "Turned" in my case only meant "demonic possession" of the mind which is what you know as "Mental Illness" not the whole body and not the entire body deformed. Years later I took the intitiation test to be one of them if you know what that means - the toilet test - and passed twice when offered.... (one of those times offered by an ex-girlfriend...after I left my watch in her shower there) ..more than 20 years ago or more maybe.. You are only guaranteed to resist being taken initially during an attack when you believe but nothing else is guaranteed afterwards in this case including "not being turned" or anything else... and if you start yelling the "devil's" name afterwards you are definately "Taken"... and the rest of the "Turn" is up to you... Of course the final finale, you feel a small burn discomfort in your "butt" meaning that someone had maybe tried to "poke" you, never felt again, and the feeling of a presence near you I don't remember passing ever passing out and everything looked and felt the same except the mental disconnect feeling Yes I felt some twitching in the face but it quickly ended and nothing changed in my face. So that's the only "turn" i got and the "Christ" reversed it and the rest was up to me and that was all. I thought about that and thought I might add this to those who were a little confused. So in the end I only had mental illness and pop a pill for that so I did not get "total reversal" of effects of possession but that piece that remains which I live with is my proof that it really happened. Later on I applied "Reiki" and almost achieved "total reversal". Yes, mental illness is new frontier to some now but there was always darkness. Later on the "bone-chilling cold" would come back from time to time not full effect though but never the possession and no twitching. I can feel it coming on sometimes briefly then its gone with no lasting effect. It's been some time since the last episode almost like a buzz a couple years ago I guess maybe more.
Years later i did get a special visit of many from what i know now was another demon after another battle... They left me with another gift - "Dark Reiki" - after touching me on my body somewhere - i had a brief vision as i was there with the demon after they asked me if i knew what it was and explained briefly how reiki can be modified - maybe one day I'll figure out how to use it...
My father died here a few years ago after taking care of him and died sitting up... i went to look at him and didn't know what to think or say....
Years later just recently, my mother also died her but in my arms as i was tending her because she was so so weak...
But this time i just watched her slip away, nothing could have saved her as i later found out in terms of modern medicine.... In either case i was powerless to interfere... Yes of course i tried my reiki as i was trained but didn't make a difference...
I guess i was being mocked but i took it well knowing that I wasn't trained to do anything....or that particular job for that matter...